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Guide · 5 min read

How to help when she has cramps, without being useless

Updated August 2026

Cramps are the uterus contracting to shed its lining. That's it. You can't fix them, and trying to is where most men waste the day. What you can do is be prepared and stay out of the way of the wrong ideas.

What's actually happening

Chemicals called prostaglandins make the uterine muscle contract. Stronger contractions, more pain, and it can radiate into the lower back and thighs. It usually peaks on day one or two and eases off after that.

Severity varies wildly. Some women take a paracetamol and go to work. Others spend a day flat out. If she's regularly losing days to it, that's a conversation with a doctor about endometriosis or fibroids, not something you should be brainstorming solutions for.

What actually helps

  • Heat. A hot water bottle or a heat patch on the lower abdomen. It's the one thing nearly everyone agrees on, and it's cheap.
  • Painkillers, early. Ibuprofen and similar anti-inflammatories work better taken as it starts than three hours in. Whether she takes them is her call.
  • Food she wants. Not the food you think she should want.
  • Space, if she asks for it. Some women want company. Some want the room and a series they've seen before. Ask once, then respect the answer.
  • The boring domestic stuff. Dishes, the shop run, her laundry. Doing something without narrating it is worth more than any sentence you could construct.

What to stop doing

Don't suggest exercise. Don't suggest it's probably stress. Don't compare it to a time you were in pain. Don't ask, repeatedly, whether she's feeling better yet — she'll tell you.

And don't turn up empty-handed with a plan to "look after her" that requires her to explain what she needs. If you knew the date was coming, you had a week to work it out.

Being early beats being sympathetic

There's a real difference between showing up after she texts you in pain and having painkillers and a hot water bottle already at yours because you knew Tuesday was coming. The second one takes no more effort. It just takes a date.

Save the day her last period started and the countdown runs itself. The arithmetic is simple — it's remembering it across several months, and several women, that isn't.

Common questions

How long do cramps last?

Usually the first one to three days of bleeding. After that, most women are climbing back out of it and into the follicular phase.

She says she's fine. Do I do nothing?

Take her at her word and stay available. Low-key is the tone — you don't need to make a project out of it.

Get the app

The whole point of tracking is that day one doesn't surprise you. For Men: Period Tracker keeps the dates for every woman you're seeing on your phone, offline, with no account attached to any of it.

Cycle lengths and symptoms vary from person to person. This is general information about how cycles work, not medical advice.

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